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Keep your product’s major flaws out of the commercial.

The obvious points of picking photos are to make them (1) flattering, and (2) accurate.

Remember, the whole point of your photo is for someone to evaluate whether or not they want to sex you.

Also, your photos send a message beyond “me IRL.” They reflect your taste and your judgment.

Too-soon too-intense over-sharing honesty (you’re experimenting with a new anti-depressant and it’s not going so well; your last breakup was devastating and now you hate all men and can’t have sex without bursting into tears; you sometimes find yourself sexually aroused by water buffalo) is not.

And while online dating can be a great way to meet folks who share your particular sexual preferences or fetishes, tread carefully and remember that your actual face is attached to the information you’re putting up.

Online dating is like advertising: Know your ideal audience and target them by positioning yourself to be as appealing as possible.

Shirtless photos for men (or bikini photos for women) say “I vacation on the Jersey Shore, pump my fist to house music, use tons of hair gel and probably have at least one tribal / Chinese symbol tattoo.” Myspace-style chin-down eyes-up pouty-face selfies say, “I want to look pretty and am not particularly intelligent.” Far-away vacation shots say, “Have I mentioned that I travel? Use proper punctuation and make sure most of the words are spelled correctly.

I’m sure I mentioned it like 56 times in my profile, but just in case you missed it, here is me in Laos. Love it.” Think beyond “this is a cool / funny / flattering photo that I like” and ask yourself, “How is a total stranger going to view me and my life when they look at this photo? This one should be obvious, but unfortunately it’s not. The exception to this rule: You are a moron who would like to attract other morons. One very reliable red flag on online dating sites: People who list the age range of people they’ll date as significantly younger or significantly older, but not overlapping with their own.

Stick to these rules, be kinda funny, try not to be a cliché machine (you love to laugh and couldn’t live without your family and friends?! ) and your profile should be at least marginally acceptable (and hopefully won’t end up here for the wrong reasons).

___If you've got your own online dating horror stories, drop them below, or submit them anonymously.

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